Parents worry about how technology exposure might impact toddler development. Our preschoolers are acquiring new social and technological skills. Cognitive We are able to learn at an amazing pace and don’t want to spend hours staring at an iPad. But adolescence This is a crucial period of rapid growth. Unfortunately, not enough people are paying attention to the way that teenagers’ technology use–much more intimate and intense than a 3-year old playing with his iPhone–affects them. Experts worry that teens are becoming more anxious because of the constant use of text messages and social media. Lower self-esteem .
According to young people, there may be cause for concern. The Royal Society for Public Health conducted a survey asking UK teenagers aged 14-24 about how social media platforms impact their health and well-being. Survey results showed that Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook all lead to more feelings of depression and anxiety .
Direct communication
Teens can keep themselves busy from after school to well into the night. Teens are always online, on their phones and texting. They share, trolling, scroll, tweet, and even share their homework when they’re not. While teens did have an Instagram account before everyone else, they found it easier to chat on the phone or in person while at the mall. Although it may seem like they were just wasting their time, what they were actually doing was trying new skills and failing to succeed in tiny, real-time interactions that many kids are missing. Modern teens learn to communicate with each other through screens.
Catherine Steiner-Adair (EdD), a clinical psychologist, and author of The Big Disconnect, says that “as a species, we are highly attuned for reading social cues.” There is no doubt that children are lacking essential social skills. Although texting and internet communication does not create a nonverbal learning disorder, it can place everyone in a nonverbal disability context where body language, facial expressions, and even the smallest vocal reactions are invisible.
Reduce the risk
Although it is true that indirect communication can create a barrier to clear communication, this is not the only problem. Making friends is an important part of growing up. Friendship requires some risk taking. This applies to making new friends, but also for maintaining friendships. It takes courage to share your feelings with the other person and listen to their perspective when there are big or small problems. It is important to be able to cross these lines. This is what makes friendship exciting and fun, but also frightening. Dr. Steiner Adair notes that healthy self-esteem includes being able to express your thoughts and feelings even when it is difficult or uncomfortable.
But when friendship is conducted online and through texts, kids are doing this in a context stripped of many of the most personal–and sometimes intimidating–aspects of communication. Because you are texting, it is easier to be cautious and keep your mind on the other person. The effect your words have on another person is not visible or heard. Each party can take longer to respond because the conversation is not happening in real-time. It’s no wonder children say it is too intense to call someone on the telephone. You need more direct communication and, if you aren’t used to it, it can feel frightening.
If kids aren’t getting enough practice relating to people and getting their needs met in person and in real time, many of them will grow up to be adults who are anxious about our species’ primary means of communication–talking. As people age, they become more vulnerable to social negotiations as they navigate romantic relationships and work.
Cyberbullying and the imposter Syndrome
Another danger is that kids are more likely to communicate indirectly with each other. Donna Wick, EdD, a clinical psychologist, says that kids text all kinds of things you wouldn’t in a million years think about saying to someone’s face. Development psychologist. This is especially true for girls who are less likely to agree with one another in “real life”.
“You want to teach them how to disagree without jeopardizing their relationship. But what social media is showing them is to disagree in more extreme ways and do compromise the relationship. She says that this is exactly what you don’t want to happen.
Relational aggression
Dr. Steiner Adair agrees that girls are at greatest risk. Dr. Steiner-Adair says that girls are more likely to be socialized to compare themselves to others, and in particular to build their identities. She also warns that lack of self-esteem is often to blame. “Relational aggression is often caused by insecurity, feeling bad about yourself, and trying to make others feel better.
Teens value peer acceptance. Many of them are as concerned about their image and appearance as politicians running for office. To them, it can feel just as serious. You can’t help but be amazed at how many kids are receiving actual polling data about their looks via “likes.” It’s hard to imagine anyone not wanting to look better. Children can spend hours enhancing their online identity, trying to project a perfect image. Teenage girls go through hundreds of photos and decide which ones to share online. Boys try to get more attention than their female counterparts online, and they push the boundaries in an already chaotic environment. Children gang up on one another.
What happens when your profile isn’t representative of the person you really feel?
This is something adolescents have done since childhood. But with social media, they now have more options and more traps than ever. It only increases the pressure when kids look through their social media feeds and see how amazing everyone seems. While we are used to worrying about unrealistic ideals that magazines models present to our children, what happens when the next-door child is also photoshopped? What happens when your profile isn’t representative of the person you really feel?
Dr. Wick says, “Adolescence and early twenties are the years when you are acutely aware that there are contrasts between who and what you actually are.” It’s similar to what psychologists call the “imposter syndrome”. You realize you are actually good at certain things as you age and gain more mastery. The gap between you and your peers will hopefully shrink. Imagine your deepest darkest fear being that you’re not as good as what you see. Then imagine that you need to be that way all the time. It’s exhausting.”
Dr. Steiner Adair says that self-esteem is about consolidating who you really are.
Stalking (and being ignored)
One of the biggest changes that technology has brought about is that we are not really alone . Children can update their status and share what they are reading, listening to and watching. They also have apps that allow their friends to see their exact location on a map. Even if someone isn’t trying keep his friends up to date, they’re still able to reach him via text messages. This results in kids feeling hyperconnected to one another. It feels like there is always something happening and the conversation doesn’t need to end.
Dr. Wick notes that no matter what we think about the “relationships” maintained on social media, children never get a break. That can cause anxiety. Everybody needs some time to relax from the demands of intimacy or connection. It’s easy for anxiety to grow if you don’t get that.
In the midst of all this hyperconnection, it’s easy to feel lonely. The silence that can result from waiting for a response to your message is deafening. This silent treatment could be an insult to a strategy or a side effect of an online relationship.
“When a boy wanted to end up with you, he needed to have a conversation with your mother. Dr. Wick says that he at least had to call. Dr. Wick says, “These days he might just vanish from your screen and you never get the ‘What’ conversation.'” Children often imagine the worst about themselves.
Even if the conversation ends, anxiety can still be caused by being in a state of constant waiting. It can be difficult to feel like we are being put on the back burner. We put others back there and our human need for communication is effectively delegated there.
What can parents do to help their children succeed?
The best way for parents to reduce the risk associated with technology use is to limit their own usage. Parents should set an example for healthy computer use. Many people use their phones and email too often out of real interest or a nervous habit. Our faces should be visible to children, not our heads glued to a screen. Technology-free zones should be established in the home and no one can use the phone during the day. Dr. Steiner Adair recommends that you don’t go to the door after work and start a conversation. Dr. Steiner-Adair advises that you don’t go in after work and say “hi” quickly and then check your email. Give your kids all of your attention until you get out the door. You shouldn’t be talking on your phones while driving to and from school. It’s a good time to have a conversation.
Limiting your time spent on computers provides a healthy counterpoint in today’s tech-obsessed society. It also strengthens the parent-child bond, and makes children feel safer. Your kids need to know you are there to listen to their problems, share their day or just give them a reality check.
mini-moments
Dr. Steiner Adair warns that it is the “mini-moments” of disconnection when parents become too focused on their screens and devices, which can dilute the parent-child bond. You might not like the results when your children start to turn to the internet for help or to process what happened that day. Dr. Steiner Adair says that technology can provide your children with more information than you can and doesn’t reflect your values. It won’t be sensitive or developmentalally appropriate to your child’s personality.
Dr. Wick also recommends that you delay the age at which your child first uses alcohol. Dr. She advises against reading text messages unless there are serious concerns. “If there is a reason to be concerned, then that’s fine. But it must be a valid reason. Parents who spy on their children are common. Trusting your children is the first step for parents. It is extremely damaging for the relationship to not give your child the benefit of the doubt. It is important to feel that your parents believe you are a good child.
It could be sports or music or taking apart computers or volunteering–anything that sparks an interest and gives them confidence. Children will be happier and more prepared to succeed in real life if they feel confident about what they can accomplish . The best part about these activities is the interaction with peers face to face.
0
0
Average Rating